Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Don't judge me unless you've walked in my shoes

One thing I love about this country is our freedom of speech. I don't, however, like it when that freedom is used to hurt other people. Especially, when you get to hide behind the internet to do it. Where is this coming from you might wonder?

I saw a comment on the link to one of the news stories about the gift card drive back in May for the tornado survivors in Moore Oklahoma. I should never read comments on news stories. Most of them are written by people who don't know what they are talking about and just want to cause problems. Well the person who wrote the comment doesn't know what he's talking about and the only thing he accomplished was to make me cry for the last 10 minutes. Here's what he had to say:

"It was by the grace of God," she said. "That's the only reason I'm here. There's no other explanation." Did that mean that those that die do not have the grace of God?

Someone else replied defending me and here was the reply to their comment:

You are correct. I do not know why she survived - but she seems to know. I am just using her logic and applying it to those that did not survive.

Well, I was angry and hurt when I started writing this, but although I'm still hurt I actually pity the person who wrote that. With everything I've been through I still see God in this world. They obviously can't. If the tornado had to happen to one of us, I'm glad that it happened to me and not to them because I don't think they would have been able to handle it. But, since they have to imply that I think the people who died on April 27, or in any tornado, didn't have the grace of God, allow me to let you into the dark part of my life that few people have ever seen.

I don't know why I survived. You are wrong about that. I know how I survived, but not why. I wonder about the answer to that question everyday. You think it doesn't break my heart that children died? I live with the guilt everyday that I'm here and they aren't. Just because I'm able to smile and find joy in life does not mean that I don't think about everyone who didn't make it. I think about them all of the time. And just because I'm alive doesn't mean that I'm back to normal. I suffer from nightmares. I'm terrified of storms. I can't be in a dark room, and I hate when the power goes out - because that's the last thing that happened in that closet right before my life changed. I don't like to be alone at night. I struggle with anxiety and stress. My memory is horrible. My short term memory is very short, and parts of my long term memory were wiped out. I have fears you can't imagine.

I knew I was going to die that day. For whatever reason, God let me live. I don't understand why, but I'm so thankful that He did. I don't understand why some people live and others don't. I never have and I never will. But just because there are tragedies does not mean that God doesn't exist. For you to want me to either not credit God for my survival or to have to explain why God didn't save another life is wrong. You should never try to put that on another person. Although you make me cry, you will never shake my faith. You will never change that fact that I am here by the grace of God.

I have to work under the assumption that the person who wrote that comment does not believe in God, because anyone who believes in God wouldn't say something like that. It amazes me that I've never attacked anyone for their beliefs, or lack of them, yet people who don't believe in God constantly try to tear apart anything bearing the name of Christ. Why do they work so hard to destroy something that they don't even think exists? I'll humor you for a minute and say what if you're right? What if we get to the end of our life and there's no God? Well, I've lived a good life. I'm been nice to people. I've tried to help people out. But what happens when we get to the end of our life and God is there? I've lost nothing. The people who don't believe have lost everything. Just something to think about. By the way, now that I've stopped crying I'll be praying for you.

And FYI, I take that comment VERY personally. Three people in my family died in an F5 tornado in 1974. I have NO doubt that God was with them every moment of that horrible day. Why did they die? I don't know. But I do know that it was NOT because they didn't have the grace of God.
It was the grace of God,” she said. “That’s the only reason I’m here, there’s no other explanation.”

Does that mean that those that die do not have the grace of God?
It was the grace of God,” she said. “That’s the only reason I’m here, there’s no other explanation.”

Does that mean that those that die do not have the grace of God?
“It was the grace of God,” she said. “That’s the only reason I’m here, there’s no other explanation.”

Does that mean that those that die do not have the grace of God?
“It was the grace of God,” she said. “That’s the only reason I’m here, there’s no other explanation.”

Does that mean that those that die do not have the grace of God?
It was the grace of God,” she said. “That’s the only reason I’m here, there’s no other explanation.”

Does that mean that those that die do not have the grace of God?

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