I could also have titled this one - "Where's My Memory?". Apparently, from everything I've read, memory problems aren't an uncommon symptom for people who go through natural disasters and other traumatic events. The question I haven't seen the answer to is "do the memory problems go away?" So far mine haven't.
I'm very forgetful, though it's gotten a lot better. It's not the normal kind of forgetfulness. Normally when you forget something and someone mentions it, it jogs your memory. You just forgot about it. With me, someone mentions it and it doesn't jog my memory. For example Brandon would ask me to do something, and later he'd ask if I'd done it and I had no memory that I was even supposed to do it. It got to the point where I started having to write down anything important I was supposed to do.
There are parts of my life that I don't remember. I don't remember Christmas 2010. It was the last time I would ever celebrate Christmas at the house I grew up in, and it was the only Christmas we celebrated at our first house, and I have no memory of it.There are other things I don't remember, and I've come to the conclusion that those memories aren't coming back.
The annoying thing about my memory is that I've forgotten things I've known my whole life. Brandon and I play trivia in town once a week. We'll hear a question and I'll know the answer, but when I try to remember it, it's like I hit a brick wall in my brain. It's there, but I just can't get to it. I can't even remember the state capitals. We learned those in 8th grade, and on the day of the tornado I could have told you the capital of any state in the country. We were playing trivia one night and one of the questions was the state capital of Connecticut. I knew it. It was right there. I just couldn't get to it. I told Brandon that I would know it when I heard it. When the answer "Hartford" was announced, even though I've known the answer to that question for years, it drew a complete blank. I'd never heard of Hartford Connecticut. It' strange when you hear something that you know you've known for years and it doesn't even sound familiar. I recently had to relearn the state capitals, just because it bothered me to not know them anymore. I've been surprised at how hard it is to remember them now. In fact a lot of them weren't even familiar to me.
I also can't remember names when I meet new people. I'm horrible at it. By the time the conversation is over I've already forgotten. That's something that I'm working on, but I'll probably always struggle with it.
Maybe someday I'll get my memory back. It's coming up on two years soon so I'm pretty doubtful of that. Any chance of that probably disappeared when we went through the stress of the second tornado last March. Just know that if you see me and I tell you I don't remember something, it's not for lack of interest or for lack of trying. My mind just doesn't work like it used to.
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